And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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