But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
