I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
