did you get engaged???
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
