WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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