That's intense
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
