Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
