if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
