I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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