the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
