So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
