I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If that was your dad, he is hot
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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