So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
