i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
