Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
