At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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