My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
