Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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