Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
