It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
