he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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