I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
