i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
