Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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