i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
