Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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