Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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