she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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