I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
