So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
