The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
