I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
