Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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