You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
