Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
