I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
