i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
