Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
