have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
