where am i from again
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
