Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Terrible idea I love it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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