The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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