oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
