I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
