I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
