Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
