Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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