It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
