so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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