OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think my moral compass just broke
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
