I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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